Namesake
Before publishing this post, I contemplated for a while whether I should post it on this blog or not cuz it is somewhat different from the usual stuff that I post here. I finally decided to post it here because it is, although being a very personal issue, always a difficult choice to make for girls who are getting married or have recently been married.
So here it goes…
I am proud of the family I belong to and my second name is a sweet reminder of our origin.
I really like my fiance’s name. It always reminds of the good times of the Ottoman Empire.
And thats where the problem arises. That toughens the choice.
Shall I change my second name once I get married?
Or just append his name to mine? As in after my second name.
Minerva just did a post on this a few days back (you can read it here). While reading it, I was talking about this with an old acquaintance (on gtalk) who is also getting married later this year and it was quite interesting to note that we both pretty much agreed to what minerva was talking about in her post: wanting to change the name but unsure whether it would be a good idea or not cuz we have after all been shouting the loudest against this seemingly silly tradition.
This made me search a bit to know why it is so important? Or whether it is something we are all supposed to do. I will be summarizing my findings:
- All people must be called by their father’s name because the second name is used to define belongingness [Surah Al-Azhab]
- The Qur’an only talks about children and not the naming convention of wives
- The Umm-ul-Momineen were always known by their father’s name such as Hazrat Ayesha Binte Abu Bakar (RA) and Hazrat Hafsa Binte Omar (RA)
- Al-Kunya is an Arab tradition of calling the women with respect to their first child’s name (or the first son), it does not change the name in any manner
- Culturally, Pakistani women did not change their name after getting married some decades back
- It is actually a western tradition adopted by us. Now they are getting rid of this tradition because they think its quite chauvinistic. (Talk about women liberation!)
So, the question still persists? I guess, it kinda still does.
After marriage, A to Z of your life would be completely changed. The life would entirely change which are living from many years. Would a mere change of name be a big deal?
After marriage, A to Z of your life would be completely changed. The life would entirely change which you are living since your birth. Would a mere change of name be a big deal?
If you want to change it, do it without a second thought.
What about discussing it with your would-be husband?
The Ottoman Emperor 
Sorry for mutliple posting
lol
you could always get married in court and let the judge decide whether the name is to be changed or not!
jo dil main aye wohi karo
@jinkibachi
since you dont have a dimagh, you have no choice but to follow your dil!! muahaha
@farooq
following dil is a lesser hassle than following chicks..and a lot more eco friendly, CNG ka masla nahin hota
lol where did that come from?
from nowhere..thats the trick na…If you cant attack the message, attack the messenger
lol @ above comment
i dnt like the name change thingie..but i wont hv to do it :d
my sis changed, though i never approved the change, but who am i to stop her
@ rebellion
i know yar….life’s gonna be completely different but its gonna change for him too. he wont change his name, wont even think about it. and its after all a western tradition, i still havent been able to actually find the exact time wen people started believing it was an eastern practice.
I will after all have to discuss this with him. But I dont exactly think he’d have any issues if i decide against it.
@ farooq
lol….id rather get married in court but for completely different reasons. this is something i would like to do myself
@ pinky
na ker yar…..dil ko follow kerney per bohut hi ghalat scene ho jaye ga werna
@ Anas
dun worry, ur elder sis wont let you down
Khud hi dil chahta hai change karne ka.
i can see that Mrs B
Ah! I’ve been hearing a lot of this lately!
I don’t know, it has got to be personal choice. It’s not an Islamic tradition, sure, yes. But we indulge ourselves in many traditions that have nothing to do with Islam. Sure, yeah, it’s important to eliminate wrongs from our belief, but there’s a time for making stands, right?
It has got to be a personal choice on the part of the girl.
Btw, am I the only one here who thinks it is totally sweet?
lol, i am starting to think its sweet and i think minerva has finally accepted that it is sweet
as for being islamic, i just pointed it out because many ppl think its kinda compulsory. its just something that has become part of our society for certain unknown reasons.
Hehe, then there’s your reason right there
i have i have i have! traditions schmaditions! i did it coz i WANTED to.
*does a little dance and goes aaaah*
To be brutally honest, i think its stupid. No one in my family does it, there’s no reason to.
@ Absar
a good enough reason?
@ minerva
@ Raza
firstly welcome to the blog.
secondly i guess its just after all a personal choice.
I think an appended/hyphenated name would solve the problem
Its just a second name you are carrying with you not the personalities of the people it goes back to and about soo called women liberation well women will never to completely liberated they will always have selective liberation. Its funny how women want to be liberated but then always want ladies first rule to be imposed as well.
Get a grip, I am sure there are bigger things in life to worry about as your post about B and S suggest.
I think the problem is that you are a dominant woman and dont want to be overcome by your fiance’s name after marraige. Just a piece of advice for you ego and marraige dont get along. Put your ego aside and think beyond the name etc….
Put this comment through.
@ Tazeen
it doesnt sound too good…i guess ill have to choose one of the two
I was wondering what would names sound like had it been the other way round.
Tariq Aneela. Jamal Sughra. Jamshaid Kausar.
Damn. Does not conjure up a nice image of that person.
oh and btw, The Sura Al-Ahzab reference you gave.. 33:05 talks of adopted children’s name
33:05 – Call them by (the names of) their fathers: that is just in the sight of Allah …
@ PostMan
first of all, welcome to the blog
lol @ the ‘other way round’ names. it sure would be hilarious.
Waise to think about it, if it was an islamic tradition (men taking up their wife’s name after marriage), given that men are allowed to have four wives at any one point in time, whose name would the man take up? confusing :S
As for the quranic reference, it was just to say that we should for once accept that we have adopted this custom from the west and should not just think that it is the duty of every muslim/eastern woman (dominant or not) to take up her husband’s name. As far as my knowledge goes, its just optional.
So it is final. Ms. (would be Mrs) Leena Singh would not change her name after marriage :p
hahahaha….no, it aint final. i might change my name once i get married and fall head over heels in love with my husband
Clever girl. So ball is in his court now
yea, to make me fall in love with him…and thats going to be tuff
rehnay dey, you ll be the one who will ‘charun khanay chitt’ first
all the girls, i mean wives are like this 
Nice post (Y). How many of us would actually think and want to research about the second names and if there is any obligation for newly wed wives to change their second names and append their husband’s name with their own name. This post was some information for me really.
@ RC
lol pata nai..shayed
@ Haris
Thank you
I want to make it more than just a wedding and that is why I am researching about pretty much everything related to marriages. You’d be seeing a lot of marriage related posts in the coming months